Very fake news CNN took a break from peddling Trump-Russia conspiracy theories to do a second-by-second analysis of President Trump’s handshake with French President Macron on Friday.
They actually counted the seconds…
CNN actually ran a story with a headline, “A second-by-second analysis of the the Trump-Macron handshake”. Wow such stellar reporting!
Chris Cillizza a CNN ‘Editor-at-large’ proudly reported:
The first 5 seconds
Macron gets the upper hand, literally, at the start. He also gets in a back pat. But, Trump flips the script at about the 4-second mark when he goes with the hand pat.
The ‘tug and pull’! A Trump classic. And a preview of things to come!
Macron seems to weather the initial tug and pull pretty well! But then — perhaps having over-compensated for the tug and pull — Macron loses his balance and sort of falls toward Trump. To his credit, Macron tires to transform it into a “I was just pointing at something” move. Kudos, sir. Or should I say, gloire.
It’s these two seconds where this goes from a handshake to something much, much more. Macron goes for the hand pat but Trump goes totally next level going bro handshake OUT OF NOWHERE. (This SubReddit on “bro” handshakes is epic.) Or is it Macron who goes ‘bro’? I can’t tell because Macron obscures the camera shot.
Trump goes for the lapel pat here. And please notice how close the two men are while they are mid bro handshake. I mean, it is TIGHT.
Bro handshake with side-to-side lateral shaking! That’s incredible! That’s like witnessing a Triple Lindy.
Trump bring Brigitte Macron into this thing. At second 19 he goes in for the cheek kiss. By the way, in case you were wondering, Trump and Emmanuel Macron are still bro hand-shaking.
Trump and Brigitte Macron are now holding hands! I repeat: Trump and Brigitte Macron are now holding hands! And Trump and Emmanuel Macron are holding their bro-shake. Three-way handshake. Holy cow. This is truly eye-popping stuff.
The look on Trump’s face. It’s so so good. I can’t get enough of it. I know it’s a darkhorse but it’s my favorite moment of the entire handshake.
Macron (Emmanuel, that is) goes for the forearm pat in what I can only assume is an attempt to bring an end to all of this. But Trump is not dissuaded. In fact, he LEANS IN — while still holding both hands!
Macron (again, Emmanuel) tries to end this thing — this time with a bicep pat.
Trump, as always, finishes strong with his SECOND tug and pull of the handshake. And he tugged and pulled a bro handshake. Which is like skipping a double dog dare and going right to the triple dog dare.
And with two small pats on the hand by Trump, it’s over. It’s all over.
Cillizza wraps up the article by saying, “What a time to be alive.”
No wonder why re-runs of Yogi Bear are beating CNN in ratings.
VIDEO of CNN’s pathetic countdown analysis:
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